When You’re Ninety-three: A Conversation Between Mary and Her Son Ed

[11:00 a.m. Friday morning: What are you doing Mom?]

I’m straightening up after your father. He leaves his things all over the house. He drops his shoes and socks wherever he takes them off. I’m always picking up after him.

You know, he’s beginning not to care about a lot of things.

And he’s starting to get forgetful. He’s forgetting things more and more.

[Give me an example.]

The other day I looked into the kitchen and the freezer door was ajar. He never closed it after he got ice. I told him. So he went to fridge and began to fuss with the stuff inside. He was trying to find what was blocking it from closing. He got frustrated. You know how he gets when he can’t solve a problem.

Well, I finally got up from my chair and took a look for myself. There was an ice cube stuck by a hinge. He’d looked and looked. He fussed with everything in the freezer that might be blocking the door, but he didn’t see the ice cube. His eyesight is going.

Oh, he can read the newspaper and see the print allright. But he’s just not as sharp as he once was and that frustrates him. I think that’s why he doesn’t seem to care about things like he once did. Well he is ninety-four and a half years old. What can you expect?

Do you know the year’s half over? And June is half over, too. Where does the time go?

You know, I’m a lot more feeble now than I was six months ago.

[I’m sorry for you.]

Don’t be sorry. That’s the way it goes. It’s nothing. Life goes on.

Yesterday when we went to the restaurant with Roger and Ruth, Roger had to help me in and out of the car. He walked beside me as we went in and came out. And I use my cane all the time. But I’m so slow. I’m an old lady, you know.

When we returned home I told Dad, You know I’m getting awfully feeble

I know you are, he said.

[I am sorry.]

Please, don’t be sorry for me. I’ve had a good life. I’ve seen my children grow up, then my grandchildren, and now my great grandchildren. Who could ask for any more than that? Dad and I have had a good life.

Just wait. When you get to be ninety-three, you’ll think differently than you do now.